What is it going to take for him to forget I exist?

I thought I knew all about forgiveness. The Bible says we should forgive those who trespass against us, just as we want God to forgive us.  So as a good Christian, I have forgiven people who didn’t earn it or deserve it.  I maintained a friendly posture because that is what we're supposed to do...right?

Forgiving means letting go of the pain, hurt and anger. But does it also mean we need to forget?  I mistakenly thought that forgiving  also meant letting undeserving people continue to hold a seat at the dinner table of my life. 

When someone who hurt me deeply called recently (to boldly ask for a favor), I asked a friend, “What is it going to take for him to forget I exist?”

This is a person I have forgiven, so why did his call stir up all those feelings of hurt, sadness, anger and betrayal?

God reopened that wound - to open my eyes.  He allowed me to see that forgiveness means letting go of the pain ...and sometimes it also means letting go of the person who caused the pain. And sometimes we don’t need to forget. God showed me that it’s okay to permanently exile some people from your life.  It’s okay to stop answering calls, to stop responding to emails, and to ignore text messages.

I asked the question, “What is it going to take for him to forget I exist?”  I found my answer!  He will forget I exist - the day I forget he exists.  It is up to me to no longer allow him a space at the table.  Wow - it’s just that simple! 

I forgive you.  I have let go of the hurt. I will also no longer allow you a seat at my table.

Do you have people sitting at your table who need to be removed from your guest list?