Too date...or not too date, that is the question!

A friend asked me whether I thought he should pursue a relationship with a woman he's been dating. He said, "I really love her". I said, "It matters more if she truly loves you". We put too much value on how we feel and not enough value on how the other person feels about us.

There's gonna be a day when...

Are you ready?

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ...FACT OR FICTION???

Late last night I posted the question, “Do you believe in love at first sight” on Facebook.  There have been 33 comments (and growing) posted in response to my question. The discussion is getting intense…people are passionate (no pun intended) about the topic of love.

My opinion…

Love is a feeling that leads to an action.  Love is expressed in your actions, but love develops from an emotion you feel at your core.  Love starts with a feeling that tugs at your heart and that feeling can develop very quickly …but only if your mind and your heart are open to the possibility. To experience love at first sight you must be uninhibited and unafraid to love. 

Yes, I absolutely believe in love at first sight… because I have experienced in first hand.  I am free with my emotions, transparent with my feelings, and I am courageous enough to allow myself to be vulnerable.

I have fallen in love at first sight and it’s the best feeling in the world! However, if you’ve never experienced love at first sight then you can’t possibly understand the concept. 

Love at first sight is the most pure and innocent kind of love. It’s a love based on raw emotion.  It’s not based on monetary gain or selfless values.  It’s the kind of love where you have nothing to gain and everything to lose, but you put your heart on the line anyway.

 I feel sad for those who have not experienced love at first sight because it’s the closest thing to heaven that you can find on earth.  It makes you feel powerful and indestructible. 

One person posted this comment on my Facebook page …

“Love is a giving and receiving relationship, the two go together.  To love is nothing.  To be loved is something.  But to love and be loved is everything!”

 …WOW!

Love Unconditionally...

A man who really gets it...

BUTTERFLIES...

The worst part of being single is not having somene to share in the good news...

You called me yesterday 

For the first time in a long while

It was really nice to hear your voice

And our conversation made me smile

It seemed just like old times

Exactly how it used to be

It took me back to a place in time

When things were good with you and me

I remembered your dry sense of humor

And your quiet, unassuming laugh

You always brought out the best in me

You were truly my better half

Today was a really good day

And I had no one to call who cared

But when you and I were together

Those were the kinds of moments we shared

You were always in my corner

Telling me I was pretty and I was smart

Wanting only the best for me

You always had my best interest at heart

Life has been filled with ups and downs

Since you’ve been gone these past few years

There have been some really good times

But there have also been some tears

The day is filled with happiness

But sadness comes at night’s end

Because there’s no one here to talk to

And ask, “Do you remember when?”

I’m in such a good space now

My life is filled with such light

But my heart still feels empty

I can’t get this love thing right

You would be so proud of me

I’m accomplishing the goals I’ve set

But one thing still remains incomplete

I haven’t found true love yet

I finally realized the value of the love

I took for granted when we were together

When I’m blessed enough to find love again

I will cherish it and hold on to it ...forever and ever

Wrtitten by Sonya A. Milner 1-11-11

"THE LIST"

We use lists in most aspects of lives, so why not in relationships?  Before going to the grocery store we make a list to remind us of the things we need.  When looking for a car, we have a list of essential features we want.  When we hire a new employee, we have a list of qualifications for job success.

I made a comment on Facebook regarding my list of qualities for my potential mate.  My comment generated a lot of conversation and interest in seeing my complete list, so here it goes…


Single, not involved in a relationship or marriage
Has previously been in a long term relationship
0-3 children
If never married, only has one child
Children by no more than two women
Married no more than twice

Homeowner
Reliable transportation
Good credit rating
Financially stable (401K, savings, and investments)
Manages money well
Provides financial security
Responsible

Christian with active church affiliation
Understands God’s purpose in his life
Involved in his community/volunteers
Close relationship with his family, particularly with his mother and sister
Good relationship with his father
If he has children, he is a devoted father with an active presence in their lives
Man of character and integrity
No criminal record

African American
Age 35-50
Minimum height 5’10”
Muscluar build with weight proportionate to height
Well groomed
Good sense of style
Good health
Non smoker
Extremely manly

Enjoys all aspects of art and culture
Outgoing and energetic
Active social life
Sense of humor
Confident
Protective
Humble
Down to earth
Loving
Giving
Affectionate
Romantic
Attentive
Compassionate
Caring
Emotionally available

Strong - mentally, emotionally, morally
Intelligent
Articulate
Educated (4 year degree or higher)
Worldly, knowledgeable
Senior management/Corporate professional or Entrepreneur
Stable career
Hard working
Mechanially inclined

Alpha male (NOT SPEAKING OF THE FRATERNITY)
Seeking a committed relationship that will lead to marriage
Old fashioned values
Capable of being the CEO of my life
Believes the man is the head of household
Displays leadership qualities
He understands my “love language” and speaks it fluently (From Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages")

I’m living my best life yet...

What's new for 2011?

I'm moving into the new for 2011.  I'm making a comment to myself to rid my life of people who are simply taking up space.  You know those people I’m talking about...the ones who talk a lot and do very little, the ones who break their promises and do not honor their commitments.  If you're not leading to my success and moving me forward, then it's time to end the relationship.  It’s time for me to move into my new.  I’m deleting numbers and erasing emails so I can make room for new relationships, new people, places, and things. 

I'm making some major changes in 2011 and the biggest change is me.  I've been too giving and too forgiving. Some people aren't going to like the new me, but I like her a lot!  I only wish I had gotten to know her sooner!